5:11 p.m. - Saturday, Apr. 12, 2003
I may be mad
I learned kids in america on the guitar this week, and now all i want to do is get on stage and rip it out punk rock style. Its obssessing me. Ricky Wilde is an strange genius. Jules and I are working on finding an original vinyl copy of his first ever release 'I am an astronaut/hertfordshire rock', recorded back in the 70's when he was an eerily percocious 11 year old. We want the dutch album cover. Its amazing.
Other than that, I have no interest in anything at all. Certainly not anything remotely important, like school, or work. If I didn't know myself better, I'd say I'd given up. From the outside, it would certainly look that way. I haven't, I'll pull it together in some truly manic fashion before utter disaster actually occurs. But i've really let it get silly this time. I don't want to get up in the day. I don't want to go to school or the library. i don't want to see people, or go outside. Not very much. I just want to play guitar and get high and get lost completely.
My cousin and I went out the other night, and jules came too...oh yeah Jules and i are now back together, and really tight and happy. Its nice. Anyway, that was a good time. I felt happy that night. Family is good like that.
He brought me the most beautiful brass cuff, with an etching of the aztec calendar on it from Mexico. And he had fantastic pictures from his trip. The girl he went with, who he is clearly madly in love with now, is HOT. Really fucking beautiful. And it seem like she is extremely cool and talented, and that they are smitten with eachother. So nice! The best part is he's thinking of moving here and going to school in Montreal because of it! Sigh. It's so good to have family around, that would be fantastic.
Anyway, we all had a really fun night. We smoked a fat joint in an alley, and then went to see that documentary about terri guilliam's attempt to make a movie based on don quixote. The parts with the giants were the best. There's this one scene where two giants are running over the sand dunes, with no shirts on, and one is big and fat and thick, with swinging man boobs, and one is a different kind of fat, he was all normal sort of, except he had an enormous balloon belly. I was like, 'dude, that looks like your dad and my dad running!' to my cousin, and we both pissed our pants laughing. It really was exactly their respective body types. It was funny as hell.
Anyway, now I have to go try and get my life back on track. i have alot of fucking work to do. What the hell is wrong with me? Its madness.
