5:58 p.m. - Monday, Jun. 23, 2003
don't
So, an entry in my journal for the people who read my journal, because i guess in the end an online journal is not just private, and need not be...
I am fine. I am not feeling awful, I did not lose control in any sort of impacting way. I had a very shortlived and extremely passionate time with someone, and it needed to come to an end, so I ended it. Things about it stung, as crushes that are over usually do, and i'm questioning it all for the next few days, cuz that's what you do I guess, it was worth thinking about. And it leads to other thoughts about my own life, and where I want it to go, and the changes I need to make. And that's just the way i feel this week end.
But I'm glad to have made the decisions I made, and I don't have any regrets really about the way I handled it, except that I always have regrets when i lose my temper, its a loss of dignity.
So anyway, that's the story, not in journal form, which is personal, and about a struggle, and begs questions about why we let ourselves feel inadequate, because we all do, and we all need to throw it all out and deal with it sometimes. I just like the journals that do that..that let me see a dialogue, and see that stuggle, because it connects with mine, and i'm thankful for it.
So anyway, if you worried. don't. <3
PS Oh and for those of you who tend to worry for Jules' sake, don't either. Jules knows everything. Jules always knows everything, as I always know everything about him. We are best friends, and honest above all else, and if we can move past it we do, and if we can't we still are caring friends to eachother. We're not together right now, that's what we've decided, but we're not hurting. I'm not really going to adress that issue again, its just that some people feel the need to chastize me sometimes in my guestbook for my decisions, on Jules' behalf, and I guess its really time to make it clear if I haven't already, we have honesty, we will be alright and deal with our own situation, no one ever need worry that I'm a liar. As a matter of fact I'm so the opposite my skin hurts from it sometimes.
